To Be Real
So many questions,
my emotions are scattered.
Trying to reason,
but my heart won’t let go.
• • •
Your soul shines bright,
like 1,000 suns blazing,
and I hear it calling to the seeds of our love:
“Grow with me, welcome home.”
• • •
In the “real world” it’s been days
since I last told you, I love you.
For me it has felt like eternity.
• • •
If I had the courage,
I would tell you every morning, every sunset.
The authentic expression of our love
would shake the walls around your soul.
• • •
I still smell you, faint on my memory.
Your warm embrace, tangled and woven into my heart.
The essence of who we are together,
dances beneath my ribs,
singing our love to the ages.
Ever since I was little I loved to perform. There was always something so blissful and magical about it. I felt at home on the stage, singing my heart out, while I painting a picture with my words. As I got older, that love didn’t diminish – much quite the opposite – but there was one small thing I couldn’t get over. I really really loved singing slow, sometimes sad, songs.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I listen to all types of music, dance to all types of music. Bottom line, I LOVE music!
When I first started writing music, I quickly became aware of my affinity for slower songs. Almost every song that I wrote was focused around a feeling, an experience and they would regularly take on the form of a slow, sweet melody and thoughtful, stirring lyrics. I had a hard time playing these songs out at open mic and shows on a regular basis, because quite honestly, I thought that I would be boring my audience. I mean, who really wants to go to see a show of slow songs?
Just several years later I would find how grateful I am that this was where my heart lies.
I’ve found that we can very easily live in a society where we shun, belittle, and ignore our feelings. People tell us we shouldn’t feel a certain way or that we are over the edge, etc. Personally, I don’t think that we feel enough – at least not what truly matters – and that’s why I like my slow songs. They give a moment of pause, invite you to take a closer listen, feel with your heart, really feeeeeeel.
They broach all the “dangerous” subjects. Love lost, sticky situations, things that would rather be left swept under the rug. They bring all those feelings to the forefront and shine a big beautiful warm light on them as if to say “Hey, it’s alright. I’m here with you and we’re going to do this together.”. Slow songs make me honest, they help me get in touch with the things I’m not yet ready to say while helping me build the foundation on which to lay my own words. They help me to be real, human, compassionate and authentic. That is what I want to give my audience. The peaceful solitude of a slow song, to stir at their heart strings and to bring all that we truly can be into the light, all the while saying “I am here. We are in this together and thank you, thank you, thank you for being brave enough to venture into the unknown with me.”
Sam Smith gave me the courage to finally embrace what has always been a beautiful love affair with slow songs. He helped me to realize that the absolutely beauty of who we are is when we make our own way instead of following the “shoulds”. His debut album is 90% slow songs and I could not be happier. Thank you for being brace and shining your beautiful light so that others may find the courage to shine their own. This one’s for you, Sam.
“All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
Spring is such a beautiful, radiant time. Life is popping up from the ground, blossoming on trees, singing through the air and chittering through the forests. Spring is a time for fresh starts, for cleaning out the stale and stagnant, for breathing new creation into old ways. I wanted to share a few of my favourite quotes and uplifting words from some wise folks to ring in this brand new season.
“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.”
― Pablo Neruda
“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.”
― Margaret Atwood
“On soft Spring nights I’ll stand in the yard under the stars – Something good will come out of all things yet – And it will be golden and eternal just like that – There’s no need to say another word.”
― Jack Kerouac
“She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbor:
“Winter is dead.”
― A.A. Milne
“Spring is the time of year when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade.”
― Charles Dickens
“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke
“The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily
do not rob the little violet of it’s scent nor the daisy of its simple charm.
If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness.”
― Thérèse de Lisieux
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, Let’s party!”
― Robin Williams
Back in April I tried something new…painting! I wouldn’t say it’s 100% new. I’ve dabbled in water colours and I’ve painted walls, but I never really experienced the thrill that was painting with acrylics! Just from this one evening, and maybe a little of the wine talking, I was hooked on painting! Well….hooked on the idea at least.
See, for months I found LOTS of excuses as to why I couldn’t start painting on my own. Supplies were too expensive. I didn’t know what I was doing. There were other artists out there better than me, what was the point. No matter what I came up with, bottom line, they were all excuses!!
This past month I took a quick trip to Burlington, VT., to visit with friends who had recently moved. During some down time on my trip, my friend suggested we paint a little while we waited for other friends to arrive. We took out the paints and a few canvases and got our paint on! I was in a really quiet emotional space, so I just let my mind go blank and feel where the brush wanted to go. This is the result, and I have to say, I am really happy with it!! I couldn’t take it home with me on the plane, but my friend is mailing it to me! I can’t wait to see it hanging in the house!!
The weekend that I got back from my trip to Connecticut, I made a pact. After I caught up with that weeks work (another excuse?) I was going to march my butt to the craft store and get myself some painting supplies! This was an outlet that needed to be explored and expressed!! I am happy to report that I 100%, completely, followed through with my plan!! I bought a pack of brushes, several different colours of paint and a few 5 x 7 canvas panels.
Again, without having any idea what I was going to paint, I let my mind wander. I played with the background colours and then finally drew a big red circle. “What are you going to do with that?” my husband had asked me. I was excited to see what would come forward. I was pleasantly surprised when a little Colorado pride popped up on the canvas! Now to find it a home on my walls!!
Over the weekend I browsed my local thrift store for some canvases I can up-cycle and scored 2 16×20 canvas panels! Boy oh boy was I excited!!! The next night I went straight to work, looking forward to seeing what my imagination would conjure up this time. I feel like this painting has a somewhat mystical approach to it, and that might have been partly to do with the fact that I was watching Merlin while I was painting. P.S. if you haven’t watched that show, but are into fairy tales and/or Once Upon a Time, I highly suggest checking it out!! So much fun!!! I really really like how this painting came out, especially the moon. It was exactly how I saw it in my head. Planning on hanging this one over my bed. I just feel like I’m going to have the best dreams with it’s energy.
Is there something that you have been wanting to do, but keep putting off or coming up with excuses? You never know what you are able to create until you try. Feel free to share your story in the comments below. Let’s uplift and support each other to create magical and miraculous things!!
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